It's Friday afternoon. I got home from the hospital a few hours ago, feeling much better than I ever thought I would. My surgery yesterday went smoothly and the really good news was that the sentinel node was negative, indicating that the cancer has not spread into my lymph nodes and, hopefully, no where else. I will meet with Dr. Andrews, the oncologist, on Tuesday. I will likely still need the course of chemo that I was expecting, due to the pathology of the cells but, as my sister Nancy said, now it seems more like insurance that life-saving. I guess I'll learn more about all this on Tuesday. Right now, along with the rest of my family, I am really relieved that the node was negative.
I really could feel God's presence with me these last couple of days. Yesterday morning before the surgery was tough. Getting dressed to go to the hospital, I knew this was the last time I would have these breasts. I was really sad about that then but today, looking at my incisions, really ugly incisions and drains, I have a real peace about it all. I know that comes from my Lord.
About the surgery itself, I can't really report anything - I was asleep. Before the surgery, I proved to be really difficult with the IV. It took 5 sticks in 5 different spots on my right arm before they were able to get it established. Held up the whole OR. Oh well :). Following the surgery, the discomfort was much less that I expected, maybe a 4 on the 1-10 scale. By dinner, it was a 2-3. And I had no problems from the anesthesia - no nausea or dizziness. Mike and I had a great dinner in my very nice private room. A pull-out chair/bed was brought in for Mike and he was able to spend the night with me. That meant soooo much to me - knowing he was there with me. We both slept relatively well for a hospital, not being bothered by the nursing staff very much at all. This morning, before being discharged, my surgeon's nurse came in to discharge me and to teach me...and Mike, about taking care of the drains and incision. Then I got dressed, putting on a post-mastectomy bra with a little fiberfill. Mike was with me when I got a really good look at my chest. Not a pretty picture, but my wonderful husband didn't flinch, gave me a hug and told me that he loved me. I am a lucky woman!
The anticipation of all this is over. The trip through the tunnel is moving along. And I have a real peace about it all. I have wonderful family and friends around me, encouraging me and praying for me. And those prayers really do work. God's peace is with me now and I trust that it will stay with me for the rest of the trip.
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