Merry Christmas....and a Wonderful 2012!

Today is a quiet day, an extra day of feeling good this cycle.  I will be getting my 6th infusion tomorrow and it should be the last of the "bad ones"...I still have to receive Herceptin every 3 weeks for another 9 months but I am told there should be no bad side effects and that my hair will start to grow back.  I have such mixed feelings about tomorrow - I am anxious to get it behind me, start feeling bad for a couple of weeks but know that it is the LAST TIME!  But the last cycle was really tough - I am told some of the side effects are cumulative so I am scared of the next 2 weeks.  But I have gotten through the last 4 months...what is 2 weeks more :).

Mike, Scott and I had a nice Christmas.  It was low-key and that was just fine for this year.  On Christmas Eve we had dinner with Mike's brother Rich and his wife Pat.  It was a wonderful dinner and the company was exceptional! :)  We went to the 7pm service at church on the way home and spoke to Matt when we got home.

Christmas morning was wonderful as well.  Presents, Norwegian waffles for breakfast (a long-standing tradition) and an hour+ with Matt and Steph on the webcam!  Not quite as good as being together but traveling between Seattle and Pennsylvania at this time of year is not something any of us want to do!  Lots of phone calls to family.  It was a really nice day!

2011 has been such an eventful year.  We traveled for the beautiful weddings of my nieces in January and May.  We helped Mike's mother get ready to sell her home in Florida in April.  We got together with all Mike's siblings in June to go through lots of stuff and wonderful memories.  And in July I got my breast cancer diagnosis.  The surgery and treatment has become all-consuming for the last 6 months and 2012 represents getting back to some semblence of normal life.  I am looking forward to returning to my job as part-time church secretary in mid-January.  I have a sisters' trip with Nancy planned and reserved for May.  I have projects in the house that I am anxious to get to - even "bottom-cleaning" the house with Mike this winter (the house has really been neglected for the last few months).  God has had me in his grip throughout 2011 - with wonderful celebrations and some of the hardest months of our lives.  And I know I will continue to be in his grip in the New Year as well!

5 Down, 1 to Go!

I had my fifth chemotherapy treatment on Monday.  Today I had my second red blood cell transfusion - 6 hours and boring!  Since I involuntarily became an experienced chemo patient, I know what to expect.  Week 1 and 2  of each chemo cycle are tough but week 3 of each cycle is pretty good - taste returns to near normal and energy improves.  It is an interesting feeling going for each treatment.  Someone asked if I dread it - not really.  I certainly don't look forward to the side effects that will inevitably come but each time I go for a treatment, I have one less to go through and that is very good.each cycle

I realized yesterday that one of the things I need is to feel in control in some way.  I couldn't control getting breast cancer but I could control how I react to it.  I can't control the side effects of the chemotherapy but I can try to control how I handle them.  It is hard to not get in a "funk" (as evidenced by my previous post) but I can try.  Mike says I am a really good patient, doing everything I have to do.  I don't really feel I have a choice but I have managed to stay healthy, stay on top of my assorted meds and rest as much as I can.  It helps to feel like I can control this much.

Thanksgiving was quiet but nice.  We talked with family on the phone and had a nice turkey roast dinner together.  Christmas is coming soon - thank goodness for online shopping :).  I am definitely cutting back - energy levels and money are not what they were - but I truly love the shopping that I can do.  What I feel the worst about though for this holiday season is that we are not having the big Picioccio Xmas !  We are getting together with Rich and Pat on Christmas Eve afternoon and that will be wonderful but it is not the same as the loud, fun, crowded gatherings of past years.  My chemo cycle and assorted work schedules made it impossible for this year but we definitely need to make a point of renewing our gatherings next year.

One of the interesting things I realized as I typed this blog is that this holiday season is very different for me.  I guess because I can't do that much, my focus is different. I am thinking more about family and their love and prayers for me and mine for them.  My young nieces and nephews have so much going on in their lives and they are always in my prayers.  God is watching over our whole family and I am so much more aware of this this year.  I know good things come from everything and I really feel like these last 5 months have shown me how much I have to be grateful for.