One week to go...

My bilateral mastectomy is in 6 days.  The waiting is hard.  My sister asked if I was anxious to get on with it and I told her that is hard.  I feel fine...but I know I have a cancer in me that has to be dealt with.  So I will surgery to remove a part of my body that, to be honest, I really like. :)  Then the healing, the drains, the probable chemotherapy, the possible radiation, the waiting for the pathology reports...It is hard to be anxious for all this to begin.  But I know this is what I have to do.

A good piece of news this week was that the Breast MRI that I had last Friday did not show anything in my right breast - "no surprises" was the term the nurse used when she phoned me.  I'll take any good news where I can find it.

It has been interesting to kind of observe the process my thoughts have gone in this week.  I started the week speaking with the pastor and council president of the church where I work, letting them know that I really don't know how much I will be able to work for the foreseeable future.  Watching the wonderful people at St. Tim's try to figure out how the church business will continue while I am out.  On Tuesday, I had an appointment at the store where I will get my post-mastectomy bras and prostheses.  That was difficult - it really brought home what is going to happen to my body.  I have never been vain - being heavy all my life, my body was not my source of pride.  But it is my body and it will be drastically changing...and that is tough.  On Thursday, I met with a physical therapist to go over post-surgery exercises for movement and, more importantly, to try to avoid lymphedema, or swelling, on my left side.  This was good - it made me feel that there is something I can do to help myself.

This weekend Mike, Scott and I are heading in to Staten Island to spend some time with Mike's mom, his sister and her family and his brother and his family.  Both of my sisters-in-law are breast cancer survivors - one for 4 years and one for 10 years!  I think it will be good to be with them this weekend.

I am getting really scared about what lies ahead.  I have received cards and flowers with wonderful notes that remind me that I am in the prayers of many and that God is always with me.  This I know to be true!