Just a Ordinary Monday...

I have always had my routine screening mammograms on time, once a year.  I am especially conscious of doing this since I have had two previous encounters with cancer - in 1996 I had a malignant melanoma on my back.  It was removed, wider surgery was done to make sure it was all gone and I received the good news that it was all gone, having been caught very early.  In 2008, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer - Stage 1b.  I had a complete hysterectomy, including my ovaries and lymph node dissection.  No further treatment was necessary.  I just return for a follow-up every six months.  Going to these visits has been the only reminder that I am a cancer survivor.

Things change...on Monday, July 18, I had my routine screening mammogram.  The next day, a nurse called and told me that there was something on the film that had to be rechecked and that it was probably nothing.  Still gets one nervous though.  I had the repeat mammogram of the left breast on Wednesday; after looking at it the radiologist recommended an ultrasound exam.  After the ultrasound, the radiologist recommended a stereo tactic needle biopsy.  Talk about being nervous.  Each step in this process, though very necessary, began a very scary trip.  My wonderful husband, Mike, was in the waiting room on this Wednesday, expecting the repeat exam to take 10-15 minutes and it wound up taking about 1 1/2 hours.  Got his nerves on edge for sure.

Monday, July 25, was the biopsy date.  The team at Holy Spirit Outpatient Radiology was wonderful, especially the breast care coordinator, Karen.  The actual procedure was not bad at all, but I was surprised that an ultrasound was done immediately following the biopsy.  Trying to "read" the tech, the radiologist and Karen, I was getting the "vibe" that the results were not going to be good.  Again, Mike was waiting for me in the waiting room, a very wonderful welcome face when I came out.

My appointment to get the results was at 10 am on Thursday, July 28.  Karen and a very kind radiologist gave me my reports and gently explained that it was cancer.  Such a scary word... and for the third time. I had been telling Mike that I must just have cells that like to go "wonky."  My appointment with the surgeon, Dr. Soto-Hamlin will be in 2 days, on Wednesday, August 3.  I hope to get some answers and direction for the next part of this road. 

I have had cancer twice before. I know that it is not necessarily a death sentence. I am trying to look at this third cancer as just another hurdle to get through.  But i am scared.  Of the surgery ... and what kind it will be.  Of what kind of further treatment, if any I will need.  Of whether this will come back again.  Of whether this will shorten my life.  I have limited my Internet research...it can just really feed these fears.

In the past, when someone would ask how things were going or what was new, my answer would always be "Life is boring and this is good."  I loved my boring life. I guess life will not be boring for a while.

I am writing this blog because it is important to me that I keep a record of what is happening.  And because it is easier to write how I feel than to say it.

I have the best husband and family!   Mike and I always say we are a great team but it is in these difficult times when that really comes through. 

I know God is with me.  My prayer is for peace with all this, for guidance, for His comforting presence.  No matter how this trip goes, I am never alone.