Tomorrow morning I will have the first of the 6 infusions of TCH. It is expected to take at least 5 hours. I don't know how I will feel - either tomorrow or in the next 3 weeks - until the next infusion. That unknown factor is tough - reading the message boards makes it sound awful but then again, I tend to believe that it is those with the biggest problems that seek out and post on those message boards. The literature on TCH lists a host of "common" side effects, some more onerous than others. Will I be effected by those? I don't know. I am really trying to keep an upbeat attitude - I know I will lose my hair and have some aches and pains " - probably nothing else (I hope :) ).
Mike is going with me to the oncologist tomorrow and will stay with me for the whole 5 hours - he is sooooo fantastic!!! As I have said before, I don't think I could have gotten through the last 2 months as well as I have without him. Today after church, we visited our local casino. We left donations at both places.:) Then we went out to our favorite restaurant, Applebees, for a great lunch. Hopefully it won't be too long before I feel like another great lunch at Applebees.
The last week and a half have been interesting and quiet. On Friday, September 2nd I had a medi-port placed in my upper chest. It is under the skin but can definitely be felt. It will make the infusions much easier, preventing my veins from getting "burned" by the chemotherapy drugs. The procedure at the hospital was easy and Mike and I were home by 1pm. Last weekend was quiet - I was back at church for the first time since my mastectomy and I was really overwhelmed by the amount of love and hugs I received. This is so much a part of what keeps me calm and happy! Tuesday I had an appointment with my "other oncologist" - Dr. Misas, a gynecological oncologist who performed my hysterectomy in 2008 and who I continue to see every 6 months for follow-ups. Everything was good -I really needed to hear that :) I also had a fitting for my regular breast prosthesis - trying them on with my clothes made me feel more "normal" - like what i looked like before August 18th. It was kind of fun trying to decide how "voluptuous" I wanted to be but I settled on something close to my pre-surgical size. The rest of the week was spent doing laundry and ironing, cleaning the house, food shopping and overall just getting organized for the unknown that will come tomorrow.
I cannot forget that today is September 11. 2011 - the 10th anniversary of the horrific attack. A childhood neighbor of Mike's was killed. He was FDNY, as was his older brother who eventually found his body. Being former New Yorkers and being old enough to remember when the towers were first built, it was weird and so very sad the first time we went to Staten Island and saw the skyline of lower Manhattan without the towers. It is incomprehensible to me to think of all those that died on that day, either the innocents caught in the chaos or the true heroes that ran into those buildings to save others. A tragedy of that magnitude can really put things in your life in perspective - I have breast cancer, had surgery, will have chemo (which will end) and that sucks. But is NOTHING like what the families of the 9/11 victims have gone through. And honestly, it is nothing like the soldiers stationed in Afghanistan for a year at a time (and sometimes repeatedly) and their families go through as they fight for out freedom and safety. My nephew-in-law is stationed in Afghanistan. He and my niece married on 1/15/11, he left a few days later for more training and he deployed in April. They have never had the time to be newlyweds and now she stays busy as she worries and waits for Jamie to come home in February. How can I complain about 4 months of some sucky stuff - I can't!!
As I say in most of my posts. it is my strong faith in the Lord and the knowledge that I am "in his grip" that gives me comfort and peace. And I know the Lord is with Jamie in Afghanistan and Erica, my niece, as she waits for him. We all can be comforted by that knowledge - a saying I have often read on those cute little plaques in the gift stores is "Lord, there in nothing you and I can't handle together." So true!!!
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