Today is day 8 of my first cycle of chemo. This has been a humbling experience. Those innocuous bags of clear liquid that were streamed into my body on September 12th looked harmless enough. And for the first 24 hours it seemed that all would be fine. Tuesday afternoon I felt like I had been hit by a truck of fatigue - not normal "I've been busy" tiredness but an extreme version. At that point I thought "I can handle this, I can just take it easy and wait a few days for this to pass, this is not so bad." I thought I was just too tired to eat, not nauseous at all. However, everything tastes "weird", can't really describe how, not the metallic taste I read about but nothing tastes right. And then, on Wednesday, the gastric stuff started. I felt like I had been punched in the lower abdomen and just hurt all the time. And the runs began... and kept going and going. I could not eat and, if I tried, it just went right through. By yesterday I headed back to Dr. Andrews office and saw the nurse/practitioner. The scale showed that I had lost 11 pounds in the 7 days since my infusion.Blood counts were done and, as expected, my white blood count is extremely low. But this is to be expected. The shot of Neulasta that I had last Tuesday will kick in and take care of that. I was told to just take lots of Imodium - that should take care of it. It didn't. This evening I got a prescription for Lomotil, hopefully this will help. My fatigue is improving and if my intestines would just quiet down, I really wouldn't feel so bad.
What I am having a problem with is that I am anticipating the same reaction to each of the next 5 treatments. I am hoping that there is some pre-medication that will help now that we know how I react. Or maybe reactions change each time?? :) I still have my hair - I was told it would be 2-3 weeks before it would start coming out. I am realistic about it and hope I am prepared. But how prepared can you really be for something like that??
Today is September 20. If the remainder of my treatments are able to stay on schedule, my last TCH should be December 26. That is only a little more that 3 months!! Sounds so much better than 4 months! :) It gets harder to remember but I can do anything for 3 months!! :) With God, my family and friends, with all their love and support, I really have nothing to complain about. Just visit an oncologist's office to get some perspective on what you think are your big problems.
Important: Thursday, September 22, is my wonderful husband Mike's 60th birthday. As you may imagine, there is no party or big dinner planned. And he doesn't care. He tells me all he wants for his birthday is for me to feel better. I know that I have mentioned how wonderful he has been with all of this but it can't come close to explaining what a wonderful man he is. I have known Mike for 44 years. We have grown up together. We have been married for 38 years and,as you can imagine, there have definitely been ups and downs. But Mike is my rock. The place I feel safest in the world is in his arms when he hugs me. As I type this, wrapped on the couch in a blanket, he is cleaning up the kitchen from dinner, loading the dryer, after working all day and then picking up my Rx. Later he will call his mom, which he does most every night, just to touch base. He is not only a fantastic husband, but a stellar son as well! Sorry Mike for embarrassing you but I had to say it!! <3
As I have said before, I am keeping this blog for myself, to try and remember this journey. In doing that, I have to be honest with how I feel at the moment, even if it is not great. That doesn't mean that my attitude is down - I work hard at trying to stay positive. Knowing that I continue to be in God's grip reassures me that all will be well.
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